Understanding the Therapeutic Relationship: Building Trust in Therapy.

When people think about therapy, they often imagine it is a place to talk through problems. However, at the heart of meaningful therapy lies something much deeper than talk: the therapeutic relationship. Therapy is not only the technique learning or goal setting, I would argue that it is also about building trust, safety and connection.

What is the Therapeutic Relationship?

The therapeutic relationship is the emotional and psychological bond formed between therapist and client. Carl Rogers (1957) described these bonds as conditions which are necessary and sufficient. These are;

• Empathy, the ability to feel with the client and not just for them;

• Congruence, where the therapist is being genuine and transparent; and

• Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR), acceptance without judgment.

Additionally, I believe there needs to be Respect for the client – honouring their pace, identity and choices.

With these we find a space where clients can safely explore their thoughts and feelings without the fear of being criticised or misunderstood.

Why does Trust matter in Therapy?

I recognise that every person comes with their unique experiences, including those that might make trust difficult. Trusting a stranger is a process and is built over time – this does not diminish the work done in short term therapy, however, long term therapy helps build trust to heal deeper wounds.

I have found that being consistent and reliable is a cornerstone of trust in therapeutic relationships. Sessions start on time, on the same day of each week so you as a client knows what to expect.

You are listened to without judgement as your story needs to be heard with openness and care. Your narrative has value and provides a deeper understanding on what your struggles are. I believe that your experience, thoughts and emotions - no matter how complex or contradictory - needs validating.

For me, the most important key to building trust is working at your pace. There is no pressure to share things before you are ready. If we rush the process we may miss some important points – this does not serve the purpose of therapy or the needs of you as a client.

In Transactional Analysis (TA), we also pay attention to the relational dynamic that emerges between us, as we explore patterns that mirror past relationships. This is a gentle process, carried out with compassion.

What If You Don’t Feel an Instant Connection?

This is an interesting moment in the client-therapist relationship. Not every match clicks straight away, and that is okay. Trust is not an overnight event. Some clients might come with past traumas, cultural mistrust or simple hesitation with opening up. We understand this and we do not rush the process.

Therapy is also a space to talk about the relationship itself. Something that might feel unfamiliar but can be deeply empowering. How often do you speak to others about your relationship with them? Or do you resolve to ‘it is what it is’ or ‘it’s always this way’. Some of the powerful conversations to have with a therapist is discussing how you may not feel heard, or unsure if you trust the process yet. Most fear these discussions but they are welcomed in the therapy space.

When Trust Is Broken, How Is It Repaired?

Like any relationship, misunderstanding can happen. A therapist may misread something or use words that do not resonate. What matters is what happens next. In a healthy therapeutic relationship, these moments give us opportunities for repair, resilience and growth. How many relationships have you had where misunderstandings have been repaired? In the relationship with a therapist, we aim to show that ruptures (the misunderstanding) does not mean rejection.

A Relationship That Heals

The therapeutic relationship is often described as a ‘Corrective emotional experience’ a place where you are met with compassion, consistency and care, perhaps in ways you have not experienced before. There is a commitment to building relationships that are feel safe, empowering and real, as the healing happens within these formed connections.

If you are ready to explore your story, to gently untangle old relational patterns, and experience a therapeutic relationship grounded in warmth, respect and emotional safety. I invite you to book a session and begin your journey with me, you do not need to do this alone.